Eight Little Known Facts About Procrastination

Starting this blog is a large chore since I want to leverage my archives, the eight thousand files collected over a life time; there are a variety of topics though  most are related to personal goals and my struggles to implement  those goals.

I have had lots of goals and dreams, but less in the way of fulfillment; lots of striving but little to report in the way of actual accomplishment. Though strangely, or not, I keep trying and by dent of resilience, I guess,  I have sometimes had some small successes.

But mostly what has happened is that small victories in areas of diet, exercise, writing for publication have been accompanied by enormous amounts of dithering and avoidance.  Hence my interest in procrastination is born of close familiarity with its varieties.

I wanted this writing session to be about procrastination but  it is a scary topic for me because I have done so much of it, and feel badly about that. I don’t have a formula to produce a solution but I feel I am very acquainted with avoidance and its rewards.  Writing projects are particularly an anathema to me.

About the only kind of writing I do that I don’t procrastinate about is in my journal. And that is because I don’t have to worry about outside judgment since I am the only audience.  While I am easy to please, this gets boring after a while. Hence the push outwards to find au audience and to convince that audience to keep reading.

So here is what I have learned about procrastination from my files:

·        Procrastination predicts higher levels of consumption of alcohol among those people who drink. Procrastinators drink more than they intend to—a manifestation of generalized problems in self-regulation

·        Procrastination is only a problem when  one believes the total sum of his or her worth as a human being is tied up in performance. 

·        Procrastinators are made not born. Procrastination is learned in the family milieu, but not directly. It is one response to an authoritarian parenting style. Having a harsh, controlling father keeps children from developing the ability to regulate themselves, from internalizing their own intentions.

• Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. Such as, "I'll feel more like doing this tomorrow." Or "I work best under pressure." But in fact they do not get the urge the next day or work best under pressure. In addition, they protect their sense of self by saying "this isn't important." Another big lie procrastinators indulge is that time pressure makes them more creative. Unfortunately they do not turn out to be more creative; they only feel that way.

• There are three types of procrastinators:  arousal types, or thrill-seekers, who wait to the last minute for the euphoric rush.
• Avoiders, who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case are very concerned with what others think of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability.
• Decisional procrastinators who cannot make a decision. Not making a decision absolves procrastinators of responsibility for the outcome of events.
• People who worry about being judged inadequate or unworthy usually are afraid that inadequate is exactly what they are. They are afraid to take a realistic look at themselves and find out whether they're as good as they hope or as bad as they suspect.

Self Defeating Inhibitions: Carrying Forward in Spite of Fear

Some years ago when I was overcoming my fear of cold calling residential home owners and other markets, I told my former professor, Neil Smelser,  then at UC Berkeley, about my struggles. His response:

“I am fascinated by your interest in "cold-calling" or what might be called self-defeating inhibitions. I assume you are aware of the public opinion survey results that show a large proportion of people (a majority, I don't know?) say that their biggest problem in life is speaking in public.  I can't give you a reference, but it's consistent with the magnitude of the issue you are tackling.”

In a series of journal articles and books, Roy Baumeister inquired about the reasons for self-defeating behavior (the term self defeating inhibitions is original with Smelser as far as I know). His conclusions: there is no self-defeating urge as some have thought. Rather, self-defeating behavior is either a result of trade-offs (enjoying drugs now at the expense of the future), backfiring strategies (eating a snack to reduce stress only to feel more stressed), or the psychological strategy to escape the self - where various self-defeating strategies are rather directed to relieve the burden of selfhood

This idea of self defeating inhibitions and their causes throws a fascinating light on the general problem of self repression, self sabotage and any sort of self induced barrier that narrows one choices in life. Or better yet, reduces you to a feckless and mostly irresolute agent, no matter what you are promulgating.  If one is seeking some kind of success in any endeavor, to consciously or unconsciously bring yourself down, or put your worst foot forward in performance is a recipe for staying in the shadows.

Usually self defeating inhibitions describe people who make terrible public speakers or actors held back by stage fright or nervous ninnies trying to make a good impression in a job interview. But lately I have come to see it also as a kind of failure in initiative taking. Either because of low self confidence or negative projection of your self as an inadequate performer in the  eyes of your audience, you don’t take yourself or your ideas seriously and as a result end up hiding out  rather than  ‘going for it’.

To self coach yourself  out of this predicament, 3 exercises have been prescribed by Bill Knaus, a writer at Psychology Today. These are for overcoming shyness and social anxiety which in this context are closely allied to self defeating inhibitions.  The one exercise he suggest (the others are available at the link above) that I particularly liked he calls the ‘stepping out of character’ exercise.

Go to a mall on a busy day; take off your watch. Ask twenty people for the time of day. This is good exercise for addressing fear of stranger rejection. A small percentage will ignore you but you can easily survive a stranger passing on your request for the time.

“You may find that you start nervous. You give yourself excuses to delay. Nevertheless, you push yourself to do the exercise. You log the results of each encounter. You later look at your findings. Here is what you are likely to find. Most will give you the time of day. Some will walk past you as though you didn’t exist. A few may engage you in a brief and pleasant conversation:  http://bit.ly/Swt1nE

In my work with cold callers, the evolution frequently reported is from extreme discomfort when calling strangers without an introduction to a mild sense of unease when picking up the phone to call a new prospect. For some, this change occurs quickly within a week or two. For others, the butterflies never entirely vanish, but they become more tolerable.

The fancy term for this in psychology is “progressive desensitization”. And it is good to be reminded that this happens, especially if you are still stuck behind your defenses. As Susan Jeffers said: “FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY.”  See her book with this same title.

Mind Sets and Activities: Optimal Strategies for the Perfection Model of Success

In looking over some old notes from 2001, I found that I reported that I  always felt better when I followed what I choose to call my Inner Guide or Better Self   (or conscience, or superego). I always felt better and had more positive objective outcomes to report. However, my reluctance or resistance was also very present, no matter how good the results were when I was compliant. So what gives here?

Over and over again I have found the three mainstays of reluctance are inertia, inner conflict and temptation to give into some impulse, need or desire.

It is useful in confronting this problem to consider a fundamental distinction between two models of success, the perfection model and the fulfillment model.

The personality theorist Salvatore Maddi (Personality Theories : A Comparative Analysis by Salvatore R. Maddi, March 22, 2001)argues that there are two versions  of the success or fulfillment model the difference being the nature of  the postulated force. If the force is the tendency to express an ever greater degree the capabilities, potentialities or talents based on  one’s genetic constitution, then dealing with the ACTUALIZATION MODEL.

In the  PERFECTION MODEl,  the force is the tendency to strive for what will make life ideal or complete, perhaps even by compensating for some weak spot or feelings  of inadequacy, or feeling of inferiority.

The perfection model is one I am drawn to.  Striving to realize an ideal, like weight loss, sobriety, smoking cessation or mastering writer’s block requires disciplined acting in accord with certain tactics and strategies that must be followed for success to follow.

I have developed several tactics and strategies for dealing with reluctance, when I got off the main road, fell into some distracting  tributary, some weakness, or variant of irrational compulsion or lack to control.  Among the tactics and strategies I have used with good results are those that follow:

·      Record keeping….to track  progess and confirm or deny that you are on the correct path to success.

·      Public commitment…presenting your efforts to an audience,saying what you are about in order to reinforce your own motivation to go fro goal.

·      Journal keeping…to generate motivating ideas, pull in meanings that may aide self leadership, help identify obstacles and evolve new strategies for overcoming

·      Listening to self, especially your better self that KNOWS what is best for you.

·       Look at role models or read stories of achievers who went on to great things.

Knowing about these strategies and using them as well is not automatic and pitfalls always arise, plus it is difficult to stay focused and invest your time and energy consistently, over time, to bring about positive results. Knowing and doing can be close or not. The two can be brought closer with actions more so than with mind sets or perspectives. This is been my experience in a lifetime of personal change The reader will note that most of the strategies are activities, not thoughts.

The question of the effectiveness of strategies for change  is key and unfortunately the record of progress especially in the health field is not encouraging.

Many people adopt health goals but many fail to succeed in attaining these goals as is, for example, demonstrated in research on new year’s resolutions which shows that about 45% of people abandon their goal of losing weight or quit smoking within one month  Ringing in the New Year: The change processes and reported outcomes of resolutions JC Norcross, AC Ratzin, D Payne - Addictive behaviors, 1989

An important reason for such failure may be that people set goals that are too difficult or that they adopt goals for external reasons such as expectations of what they should do Attaining personal goals: self-concordance plus implementation intentions equals success. R Koestner, N Lekes, TA Powers… - Journal of personality …, 2002 - psycnet.apa.org

Another reason why people may fail is that they don’t develop plans for how they will go after their goals,  how they will ensure their persistence in the face of distractions and obstacles (De Ridder & Kuijer, 2006). Research suggests that furnishing goals with specific action plans (intentions to implement ) can enhance success  because it links the desired behaviors with certain situations and allows for automatic  responding that is not as volitionally demanding as is continually making decisions about when and how to accomplish one’s goals.

What I am About: From Bad Habits to Health and Well Being

     Before and after retirement, I chose self improvement as my arena for bringing about the passage to more dignity and self worth. This has already happened in weight loss, overcoming smoking addiction, overcoming call reluctance or lack of assertiveness in being a salesman, and overcoming writer’s block. Presently I am working on achieving sobriety because, at age 75, my system can’t handle alcohol anymore, even a modest glass of wine or two.

   In each of these personal struggles I was striving for a goal that could only be reached by exercising personal self discipline.  In a word, it was about regulating my inner life. The literature about willpower and self control has been a major interest.  I was striving for goals that entailed strenuous inner struggle to accomplish.  In some instances, the factors to be controlled were bodily craves (for nicotine, alcohol, food). In others, it was fear, doubt, and various negative beliefs. In fact, the beliefs were sometimes found later to be delusions. 

     In some instances, it took me years of striving to accomplish these goals.  There was much progress followed by regression and slipping back to old habits. Over time, there was much success and failure, back and forth, over and over, trial and error; it was like a roller coaster ride.

      And out of these personal struggles I became a student of what helps and what hinders struggles for personal change: record keeping, role models, perspectives, meanings and beliefs, affirmations (didn’t work for me) gaining self trust or taking one’s own interests and inclinations seriously, avoiding avoidance or distractions where possible, watching out for substitute formations that were really escapes and defenses against fear of disapproval, having confidence, using performative expressions  (“I will no longer have second helpings”, announced to my mate), real reasons vs. nice sounding ones; accountability partners; group support,  and having strategies in place for dealing with temptation in its various guises.

        Also I became exposed to such notions as SELF DEFEATING INHIBITIONS (some of which turned out to be unconscious), or the role of unconscious factors that could delay or subvert change and successful striving. For example, the unconscious fear of abandonment that undercut initiative; or the fear of initiating contacts with strangers due to an unconscious fear of embarrassment and humiliation.  This last unconscious belief turned out to be a delusion.   These unconscious factors had to be uncovered before they could be controlled, or at least the attempt could be made; frequently, of course, these attempts were met by  failure  as’ thought’ alone was insufficient.

     In the course of these struggles I developed certain beliefs, assumptions, and therapeutic ideologies. And I got therapeutic help from two clinical psychologists who gave me all sorts of advice and encouragement about how to more effectively reach my goals.

    I used the technique of journalizing to help work through these changes, to assist in the self observations that made change possible so that I came to know what about my I had to change, control or focus on in order to change.

     In review of ‘what I’m really about’, I see that I can say about myself that I am in combat with fear and temptation, two of my most familiar inner obstacles which I have sought to control, to overcome in the process of going for worthiness goals. These are and were core factors in my strivings for personal development, from ignoble to noble, from bad habits to health and well being.

    I am the chief audience to my endeavors since mostly I have not shared my struggles with friends or relatives. Blogging has been a recent addition. And I have self published two books about my struggles, weight loss and cold call reluctance.  Now I am struggling with SOBRIETY which, to this date, I am losing.  However, alcohol is becoming more and more poisonous to my system, as I keep telling myself. But, somehow, the wish is not father to the needed change. Moderation has been achieved but not total cessation. 

   So I am really about a private struggle for self rectification to resolve the loss of self confidence and to overcome the inferiority caused by my upbringing.  Sometimes I think that I don’t have the courage of my convictions, or I don’t have the courage to go public until I have amazing results to report.  This is probably in error and this offering is in part taken as a corrective measure.

   The take away here: change is fraught with failure but oftentimes ends in success if you persist long enough.  Some tactics succeed for a time only to fall by the wayside as old habits come back in play.  And, thoughts, especially justifications and legitimations, don’t always lead to the hoped for change. Intuitions and feelings tend to be stronger and more reliable sources of positive actions.