I have found in striving for goals
that journal keeping helps inspire and direct my efforts.
My self communions in a journal
consist of admonishments and advice giving and many ”you shoulds” that have a
motivating impact on getting me to follow the acts necessary to fulfill
personal goals. Whether they work or not is always problematic, except for
times of recent relapse.
The impact is attenuated by my own
resistance which in turn can be caused by unconscious vindictiveness, low self
confidence, or various fears, none of which can be definitely validated.
By returning every day to these
self directed dialogues, I find that compliance brings a sense of
accomplishment and satisfaction. Non compliance inevitably brings guilt,
frustration and new resolves to “do better”.
Much as an external coach would
do, these self administered directives seem to lead me down a more virtuous
path, or at least one that I believe is preferable to simply responding to
every impulse or passing temptation that invites giving in rather than staying
the course.
Working with a coach, you develop
a goal and a plan of action for reaching that goal. Weekly meetings ensure
accountability. But working with yourself alone, you can do the same thing, and
use record keeping as your accountability device.
Self coaching is a kind of self
empowerment process wherein you rely on your own resources rather than an
outside expert to initiate and carry out strategies that you know are necessary
to gain positive outcomes.
Some of the resources you need to
help yourself in your goal strivings are: record keeping;
perspectivizing….coming up with meanings that help motivate and inspire; role
models…finding others who are doing what you want to be able to do and finding
out how they work; self contracting…setting particular tasks and a time limit
for their attainment; recognition rituals…finding ways to reward yourself for
doing what you say you think is important or that you ‘should’ do.
These are just some of the factors
that help you move forward when the services of an outside coach are not
available or are out of reach financially.
Hi Mark. Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteI think a huge part of self coaching is motivation. Motivation can be to achieve something or avoid something and we can use both of these to move us forward and keep momentum.
I read a great book that asked if i could make $1million by the end of the year. Most of us want it but wanting is not necessarily enough. If we were threatened with losing everything we own or bigger consequences we would find a way. As humans we value what we have more than the threat of not getting something we dont have (loss aversion theory). Putting something you have on the line is a huge motivator.
Anyway, love your work.
Cheers, Habit reCode (the accountability app that overcomes a lack of willpower)