Overcoming inner blocks that prevent
resolving the paralysis of procrastination or the timidity of social anxiety is
often made more difficult when those blocks are cemented in place.
The insight about what causes
this stuck-ness is from control mastery
theory. The insight is as follows: the dynamic that keeps inner barriers in
place is continued self criticism that stems from guilt for not following the
inner guide. One concentrates criticism on oneself for not carrying out
directives of the “better self”, the one that knows the correct course of
action but is unwilling (not unable) to carry it out.
Delaying a task like writing a
paper, finishing a home improvement project, or introducing yourself to a new
neighbor may be maintained or sustained by inner self put downs that deplete
your self confidence to initiate and carry through the task.
While the self derogation may
seem unwarranted on its face, if it continues the cause may be the unconscious guilt
that accrues from inaction. While you continue to defy your own best judgment,
guilt builds up and becomes grounds for thinking less of yourself and your
projects.
I find this hypothesis compelling
because it makes sense out of a pattern that is all too familiar: being
buffaloed by inner blocks when your work hard to overcome them and you have all
sorts of benefits uncovered for moving
ahead, but still you remain stuck. It’s
as if a mysterious force is holding you back and you cannot unlock its nature
or how to modify its power.
A recent reading of Dostoyevsky’s
book, Notes from the Underground provide a possible answer. In this
book, Dostoyevsky argues that man’s most prized advantage for acting is the capacity
to act in accord with one’s will, or free choice, even to act against one’s
best interests. This perversity to go negative, even at the possible cost to
one’s health and well being is presented as a positive virtue that mankind
highly values. Caprice, Dostoyevsky argues, the urge to act in surprising and
unexpected ways, is actually one of man’s highest values and explains how
otherwise comfortable and secure souls manage to make terrible judgments as to
their personal conduct.
Being stuck and not knowing why
is a familiar predicament in reluctance work; but it just may be that for you,
the stuck-ness is derived from guilt for not complying with your inner guide or
conscience, the voice that tells you what is “right”, justified or appropriate.
Such a perspective or self
interpretation may by just the catalyst for springing loose from the ties that
bind; inertia and failure to act need an override sometimes so that self
censoring (or caprice) doesn’t gain the upper hand.
