In looking over some old
notes from 2001, I found that I reported that I always felt better when I
followed what I choose to call my Inner Guide or Better Self (or conscience, or superego). I always felt
better and had more positive objective outcomes to report. However, my
reluctance or resistance was also very present, no matter how good the results
were when I was compliant. So what gives here?
Over and over again I have
found the three mainstays of reluctance are inertia, inner conflict and
temptation to give into some impulse, need or desire.
It is useful in confronting
this problem to consider a fundamental distinction between two models of
success, the perfection model and the fulfillment model.
The personality theorist Salvatore Maddi (Personality Theories : A Comparative Analysis by Salvatore
R. Maddi, March
22, 2001)argues that there are two versions of the success or fulfillment model the
difference being the nature of the
postulated force. If the force is the tendency to express an ever greater
degree the capabilities, potentialities or talents based on one’s genetic
constitution, then dealing with the ACTUALIZATION MODEL.
In the PERFECTION Model, the
force is the tendency to strive for what will make life ideal or complete,
perhaps even by compensating for some weak spot or feelings of inadequacy, or feeling
of inferiority.
The perfection model is one I
am drawn to. Striving to realize an
ideal, like weight loss, sobriety, smoking cessation or mastering writer’s
block requires disciplined acting in accord with certain tactics and strategies
that must be followed for success to follow.
I have developed several
tactics and strategies for dealing with reluctance, when I got off the main
road, fell into some distracting tributary, some weakness, or variant of
irrational compulsion or lack to control.
Among the tactics and strategies I have used with good results are those
that follow:
·
Record
keeping….to track progress and confirm or deny that you are on the correct path
to success.
·
Public
commitment…presenting your efforts to an audience, saying what you are about in
order to reinforce your own motivation to go fro goal.
·
Journal keeping…to
generate motivating ideas, pull in meanings that may aide self leadership, help
identify obstacles and evolve new strategies for overcoming
·
Listening to
self, especially your better self that KNOWS what is best for you.
·
Look at role models or read stories of
achievers who went on to great things.
Knowing about these strategies and using them as well is not automatic and pitfalls always arise, plus it is difficult to stay focused and invest your time and energy consistently, over time, to bring about positive results. Knowing and doing can be close or not. The two can be brought closer with actions more so than with mind sets or perspectives. This is been my experience in a lifetime of personal change. The reader will note that most of the strategies are activities, not thoughts.
The question of the effectiveness of strategies for change is key and unfortunately the record of progress especially in the health field is not encouraging.
Many people adopt health
goals but many fail to succeed in attaining these goals as is, for example,
demonstrated in research on new year’s resolutions which shows that about 45%
of people abandon their goal of losing weight or quit smoking within one month Ringing
in the New Year: The change processes and reported outcomes of resolutions
JC Norcross, AC Ratzin, D Payne - Addictive
behaviors, 1989
An important reason for such
failure may be that people set goals that are too difficult or that they adopt
goals for external reasons such as expectations of what they should do Attaining personal goals:
self-concordance plus implementation intentions equals success. R Koestner, N Lekes , TA Powers… - Journal of personality …, 2002 -
psycnet.apa.org
Another reason why people may
fail is that they don’t develop plans for how they will go after their goals,
how they will ensure their persistence in the face of distractions and
obstacles (De Ridder & Kuijer, 2006).
Research suggests that furnishing goals with speciļ¬c action plans (intentions
to implement) can enhance success because it links the desired behaviors with
certain situations and allows for automatic responding that is not as
volitionally demanding as is continually making decisions about when and how to
accomplish one’s goals.
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